Episode 23: Real Steps to Reduce Stress

Stress is part of life, but we don't have absorb everything around us. Learn practical ways to protect your peace, no matter who you know or where you work.

Transcript

We all understand that stress in some form is a fact of life. From the moment we wake up, we are confronted with a series of obstacles that have to be negotiated, bypassed, vanquished or ignored altogether. And although we know that stress is a part of how we navigate the hours every day, we still managed to fall victim to it in ways that detract from our quality of life and threaten to consume us completely.

High stress absorption… and please keep that word in mind… absorption… has been linked to debilitating health conditions and even deadly events. From hypertension: the number one killer in the united states, to chronic physical and emotional syndrome, the effects of stress can be empirically measured, diagnosed and … well… treated. But before you drag yourself into the emergency room and get prescribed some treatment that you’ll need to keep up for the rest of your life, consider addressing to root causes of some of your stressors, and taking practical steps to either diminish them or eliminate them completely.

Some of the stress we face from day to day is beyond the realm of our practical control… but some of the stress we encounter is a choice. Oh, I hear you protesting about how stressful your life is and how you don’t have a choice but to deal with it. The reality is, you actually do have a choice. The first thing you have to reconcile is how much of the stress in your life is self-induced.

From personal relationships to professional ones, some of the stress in our lives is something that we either consciously or unconsciously invited into our space. In personal relationship, we all have that problematic relative or friend who inevitably leaves us feeling used up and exhausted… and can often steal so much time from us with their drama that they leave us scrambling to make time on the back end of our encounters. Here’s the thing: we don’t HAVE deal with that person or people every time they demand our attention, and we don’t have to give them as much time as they’re demanding. Consider scheduling and timing your encounters with these kinds of people, and see if that doesn’t help you alleviate a little of the stress that comes with engaging them.

In the professional arena, some stressors are unavoidable. Deadlines set by those in a higher pay or power bracket may be beyond your control, but how you approach those deadlines is entirely up to you. One of the things I learned while working in the corporate space is that you will typically use up the time that is allotted to you. So the way that you choose to budget your time and approach any given task is completely individual. When I worked in television, I’d often have to visit the editing department to get something laid out and put together. There was a particular editor who had a ritual that is still curious to me, to this day. She would begin her shift by allotting an entire hour to herself, to organize… label… and categorize her files. She refused to answer the phone or turn on her computer while she performed this ritual. One day I walked in while she was doing this, and she refused to talk shop with me until she was done. Initially, I was annoyed by her relaxed attitude (especially because I was on deadline), but I came to understand that this was her way of grounding herself in a chaotic environment. In her defense, she never missed a deadline and her finished product was always incredible. She’d created an environment for herself that was nurturing even in the midst of the insanity of live television… and she would not negotiate with any of us if we tried to disrupt or disregard that environment.

What’s interesting about this individual is that eventually, the environment outside of her edit sanctuary adapted to her rules… not the other way around. Coordinators would know not to bother her for that first hour. And although her counterparts complained incessantly about having to pick up urgent broadcast items (because she’d assure you that… if you dumped a project on her that interrupted that initial hour… it would not make your deadline)… I also came to realize that their choice to accept those projects was also just that… a choice. To be clear, I did not work in an environment where such behavior was punishable by retaliation or termination. Plus, as I stated before, she always make her deadlines with a resulting product that was well thought out and executed. So for the most part, everyone left her to her process because they knew that the entire operation would benefit as a whole. I was in my mid-20’s when I first met and worked with this woman. Prior to meeting her, I allowed myself to be subject all manner of workplace abuse under the guise of ‘taking one for the team.’ She made me realize that it was not my job to carry the team… especially when my workload was disproportionately large compared to my counterparts. It was my first lesson in owning your space and setting boundaries in the workplace.

Later, as I came to create my own rituals in my personal workspace (like wearing noise-cancelling headphones while I worked so that I didn’t have to be subject to the cursing chaotic din of the newsroom)… I found that no one around me was affected in any negative way. If someone needed to get my attention, instead of yelling my name from across the room (a jarring and common practice in my workspace), they’d have to send me an instant message. I’d always respond… I’d always make my deadlines… and I was able in this small way to protect my peace.

There’s a good chance that millions of workers around the country learned how to protect their peace during the pandemic, when they had to work from home. I personally know of producers and writers whose quality of life greatly improved because they didn’t feel pressured to get worked up over every little bump in the live television world. They still managed to make their deadlines and produce quality work without the stress. Many of them have returned to the newsroom, and I’m hoping that they managed to keep some of those peace-loving rituals, even as they once again found themselves in a shared environment.

The lesson is: your peace is yours to nurture and protect. And no one gets to take it away from you for any reason. High stress players often require that you feel their level of stress and make whatever is important to them… just as important to you. You should know that you have a choice in this matter. And if you come up against a player who is offended by your lack of debilitating angst over any given thing, chances are you don’t need that kind of thing in your life. So make your choice, and own it.

Even if you step away from the traditional employment hierarchy and live in the land of the self-employed… the same rules apply. Much of the stress we encounter as entrepreneurs is self-induced. We’ve decided that we want to do a certain thing for a certain amount of compensation, so we make choices and plans according to that desire. Along the way, we may lose sight of what is realistic and what is beneficial to our health and well-being as we go about the business of achieving those goals. To make matters worse, there is no shortage of humans out there judging us based on our perceived output, and criticizing our perceived results based on what they believe is a lack of effort. 

The choice to absorb that sentiment is again… a choice. No matter where you find yourself, remember that your journey is yours. How you behave in an entrepreneurial space is not a guarantee of the returns you’ll see. I personally know malignant humans who appear to be winning in all aspects of life, and I know genuinely amazing individuals whose success might not be social-media worthy… but who are doing just fine on their own. So the false notion that your endeavors should be turning x amount of profit in x amount of time is vapor. And if you choose to buy into that vapor… and absorb the stress that comes along with letting someone else dictate your dreams… there’s a good chance that you’ll come up wanting. A responsible business advisor or business coach will remind you that there are no guarantees. It always pays to have the knowledge and resources to navigate the entrepreneurial space… but there is no zero-risk way to utilize those things. So take what you need, leave what you don’t, and always protect your peace.

Now that we’ve covered the things that can happen in your environment and how you might best respond to them in order to reduce or alleviate your stress quotient, let’s turn to something a bit more personal. There are also ways to better insulate yourself against environmental stressors, and that means addressing something that may not be the most appealing: personal accountability. You can take an objective look at how you encounter, absorb, and manage stress. And you can also take steps to lower the risk of you dealing with stress in a way that harms your peace of mind and overall quality of life. 

Let’s start with your nutrition.

Did you know that there are foods that actually help keep your mind and your gut harmonized and balanced… even in the face of environment stress? The best part is, none of the foods are particularly difficult to access or incorporate into your daily food intake.

Oats are a fantastic insulator against anxiety, which can be triggered by both internal and environmental stressors. Oatmeal, like other slow-burning complex carbs, has an impact on serotonin levels… which are liked to anxiety. Oatmeal is pretty straighforward in terms of preparation and execution. Just please make it yourself. Instant oatmeal is heavily sweetened and processed, so it will not have the same effect. 

If you’re into tea, try a warm cup of chamomile. This tea can help reduce stress and alleviate anxiety. Chamomile is well-known for its relaxing properties because it behaves like a mild sedative. It can help you calm down physically and mentally… so if you’re prone to absorbing stress… it might be a good idea to keep this tea handy both inside and outside of your personal sactuary.

Asparagus contains the trace element chromium…which is known to reduce anxiety. It’s also rich in potassium, fiber, and a whole host of vitamins that help with your skin and your gut health. Asparagus also contains folate, which can help boost your mood and combat depression. So you can look good, poop regularly, and reduce your anxiety all in one setting!

Berries as a whole are great for their mood boosting properties, but blueberries in particular pack a powerful punch against feelings of stress and anxiety. They contain high levels of vitamin C, which can help you body control cortisol levels. Vitamin C also prevents blood sugar levels from spiking during stressful situations.

So, you can eat and drink these things to help keep you calm and centered in the face of stressful situations. You can also move with intention to further insulate you against harmful feelings and behaviors that diminish your quality of life. 

Almost any form of exercise or movement can help decrease your stress levels. The most important thing is to pick an activity that you enjoy. The exercise that is most effective for you is the one that you will continually go back to. When I worked in television, I used to run daily. I found that there were quite a few people at my workplace that did the same thing. The act of putting one foot in front of the other in a steady rhythmic was was almost a form of meditation. I was able to tune out everthing but the sound of my breathing, and the rhythm of my footsteps. Years later, I paid for it with my knees and ankles, so I eventually traded in my running shoes for bare feet and yoga. The results are still the same. I am still able to tune out the noise and listen to what my body and my mind truly needs to thrive. What matters is that you stick to whatever exericse you choose. You’ll find that consistency will also help you pay less attention to stress that doesn’t actually concern you, because you’ll have something much more beneficial to practice.

Finding a consistent physical practice will also help you do something very valuable, which is budget your time. Make your exercise time a non-negotiable part of your day, and plan accordingly. You’ll have less time to absorb unneccesary stress because you’ll be occupied with working on your own health and wellbeing. So there’s less of a chance of getting stuck on the phone with that needy relative or that drama-filled friend. Be sure to turn off your phone and devices when you’re working out so that your time cannot be interrupted or stolen. Give yourself between 45 and 90 minutes to just be with yourself, and move in a way that makes you feel good and accomplished. You may find that you not only enjoy that time, you’ll look forward to the workout instead of dreading it. 

In addition to these habits, there are also some of the tried and true methods like stepping away from your electronic devices, using the word NO as a complete sentence, and establishing other boundaries that help keep you feeling whole and at peace. Now if you are NOT familiar with any of these practices, there are 22 previous episodes of this podcast to help get you situated.

Overall, the way we choose to process and absorb stress within us and around us … is up to us. If we establish that all stressors are not created equal, we may be less likely to make a mountain out of a molehill… and instead take each thing as it comes. We may also be less likely to let others determine our level of stress and our response to that stress. We can choose to put into perspective and even walk away from some of the things in our lives that reduce our ability to feel balanced and centered. It takes courage and it definitely takes practice, but it can be done.