Episode 15: The Keys to Consistency

Having trouble staying consistent? You're not alone! There are practical ways to help you get on track, keep progressing, and get BACK on track in the event you lose your way. You got this!

Transcript

We’re two weeks into the New Year, and you know what that means. For millions of people, all those resolutions they fervently made in 2022… those are starting to lose their shine. From weight loss to money management… and even promises to set boundaries and protect one’s peace – there’s a chance that NONE of that is still in play right now. Those previously empty shelves of fresh celery that plagued grocery stores the world over… those are full again. Name any manner of ‘self improvement’ plan, and there’s a good chance that the user is simply not interested in it with the same level of gusto that topped the collective consciousness on January first.

If you’ve found yourself firmly planted in this statistic, don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with you, or with any of the other people who are trying to figure out why they don’t want to eat copious amounts of celery -- or workout for 4 hours a day to make those resolutions a reality. You didn’t fall off because you’re weak, or lazy or unable to be consistent. You fell off because you missed some key markers in your quest to reach that goal. 

The good news is, we’re only two weeks into 2023 so you’ve got plenty of time to figure this out. Plus, you’re about to learn more about those key markers, so you can stay consistent as you strive to reach your highest and healthiest potential.

FIRST, isolate one goal.

Take a look at the goals you set for this year. Were they too broad? Were they vague and perhaps without a specific plan of action? If your goal was to ‘get healthy’ – then it’s too broad. If your goal was to ‘work out more’ – it’s also too broad. While you can use a broad stroke to get an idea of what you’d like to achieve, it’s not a good idea to use this as the ONLY strategy to try and reach that goal. 

So instead of just ‘getting healthy’ in 2023, identify what such a thing might look like? Does that mean drinking more water? Okay. How much? Instead of simply saying “I’m going to drink more water” set a daily marker for HOW MUCH water you want to drink, and have a practical strategy for how to meet that mark. That means planning what kind of water you’re going to drink (and even how you’re going to access that water), what container you’ll use to drink it from, and what SPECIFIC times of day you’ll set (either by alarm or some other reminder) to drink that water. Specifically planning something as simple as taking a drink or water might seem dramatic. But it’s important to realize that water is not always the first choice for millions of people when they want to quench their thirst. Therefore, it becomes a conscious effort as the quest amps up – particularly in the New Year – to become a healthier human. 

So, although that ONE GOAL – to drink more water – might not be grandiose, it is a goal that can be achieved if it’s broken down into strategic actions. 

You can take that same practice and isolate other goals that might seem too broad or vague to achieve in the form of a resolution. The more you take practical and measureable steps toward achieving your goal, the more likely you are to reach it.

NEXT, get organized.

Part of staying consistent is developing a seamless routine to help the steps toward you goal become more effortless. So just as you planned how much water you wanted to drink and decided when and how you’re going to do it, you have to develop a system to make that exercise as routine as possible. Set a time to clean your water bottle each night or have it prepped and full of water for consumption the day before. Perhaps you buy a backup bottle to keep in your vehicle or at your desk just in case you left the original bottle at home or in another place. What happens when the grocery store is out of your favorite brand of water? (Because lets be honest: if you live in Los Angeles or any other major city, tap is likely not an option). Instead of using a stock shortage as an excuse to give up, have a backup plan to keep that water flowing through your body. 

While you’re organizing, please keep in mind that MONEY WILL NOT MOTIVATE YOU TO CONSISTENCY. It might seem hard to believe when you’re in the thick of the planning process, but no amount of money will magically make you more consistent. Buying a premium water bottle or a premium brand of water will not make you drink more water. It’ll be fun for a moment, and eventually the dopamine hit you got when acquiring those new shiny things will wear off, and you’ll be back to square one. So keep that in mind as you plan your goal. Be realistic about what you’re spending – if you’re spending at all – and know that the cost of a thing will not make a difference in the grand scheme of your journey.

Okay, let’s get back to the keys.

REMEMBER TO KEEP A RECORD.

As part of your organizing efforts, keep a record of where you started, where you are presently, and where you’d like to be in relation to your goal. Recording your progress along the journey can go a long way to help motivate you to stay consistent. It’s normal to feel like you’re not doing enough and that you should be further along than your current status. Keeping a record of your progression can help remind you of how far you’ve come, and encourage you to keep going.

Remember that you’re not going to develop lifelong healthy habits overnight. It could take MONTHS to get to point where the exercise is less like torture and more like second nature. So anytime you need a little reminder of this reality, go back and take a look at your record of progress.

On this journey, also remember to set realistic milestones. Let’s go back to the water. A common goal is to drink one gallon of water a day. It always comes as a surprise to some people when they realize that they can’t even get a fraction of that in their bodies on a daily basis. There’s a reason for that. If you’re not used to drinking any water at all, your body is not going to suddenly accept a daily intake of one gallon, no matter how much you organize and plan. 

This means, in order to reach your goal of one gallon a day, you’ll have to break that intake down further into milestones. Use your second or third day of intake as a marker. The reason it’s better to start recording on the second or third day, is because that’s about when something happens – or nothing happens – and you find yourself back at square one. We’re always super excited on day one and two, so we happily do all the things in the hopes of reaching our goals in record time. By day three and beyond, some of the shine has started to wear off, and we either backslide to our original state or our efforts have tapered off considerably. THAT’S the time to take stock and use that space as a springboard to head toward you goals in an intentional and meaningful way.

So chalk those first couple of days up to the excitement of doing something new… and start the REAL journey at the time when that excitement starts to wear off.

Next, REMEMBER TO HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE.

Accountability doesn’t actually have a positive or a negative place in the quest for consistency… it is simply a tool to help you get to where you want to be. Often, we think of accountability as someone either reprimanding us (or us reprimanding ourselves) when we step away from the plan to meet our goals. The reality is, accountability is simply another way to keep a record of where we are, versus where we want to be. So that means you hold yourself accountable no matter what. Celebrate that accountability when you reach a milestone, and examine it when you don’t.

Remember that accountability requires honesty. Sometimes we like to fudge the numbers to make ourselves feel better. Or we may go in the opposite direction and inflate either the positives or the negatives of an event to support our own narrative. Neither of these exercises are very helpful, and they can actually become detrimental as you strive for consistency. 

To help alleviate this issue, don’t rely on holding yourself accountable on your own. Instead, cultivate a community. Your community can be made up of friends and family, but it can ALSO include like-minded people who don’t know you beyond your shared interest in a particular goal. Your community members don’t even have to physically be in your area. In this age of global access, it is possible to find a virtual community that can help keep you accountable and on track, as you make your way along the road to consistency.

In that same vein of global access… it’s also important to EDUCATE YOURSELF.

Whatever your chosen subject for consistency, it’s a good idea to learn as much as you can about that particular thing, and apply that education to your personal efforts. Let’s go back to the water. Why is it important to drink water? What does water do for your organs? What does it do for your brain function? How can it help with your outward appearance, including the clarity of your skin and eyes? Learning about the benefits of drinking water might help motivate you to keep going. And keeping a record of not only how much water you’re drinking on a daily basis – but how it affects the way you look and feel – can go a long way to helping you stay on track.

And in quest for information, REMIND YOURSELF WHY YOU STARTED

Resolutions and goals are often tied up in the feeling that we’d like to evolve past our present state. Consistency is the key to reaching those goals and making those resolutions a reality. So keep that ‘big picture’ reason in plain sight. Write it down if you have to. Make a billboard full of colors and pictures and inspirational things. Engage in daily affirmations. Do whatever it takes to keep your mind focused on WHY you want to be consistent. 

Let’s pause for a moment and talk about the obvious: AIMING FOR CONSISTENCY IS HARD. IT’S WORK. IT TAKES ENERGY AND EFFORT. It’s not a magic switch, and no matter what anyone tries to sell you, the biggest components to consistency mostly lie within you. And that leads us to the next key:

KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS IN PERSPECTIVE.

You’re going to get frustrated. You’re going to feel like giving up. You’re going to hurl insults – both out loud and in your head – in the direction of the universe and perhaps even in the direction of yourself. It’s normal to feel like you’re not making the cut as you work towards consistency and your goals in general. 

Remember that these feelings do not make you a failure. Keep that in mind as you continue to put one proverbial foot in front of the other. When you fall, give yourself some grace and get back up. And when you fall again, get back up again. Consistency is not linear, and it’s not about how long it takes or how many times you fall along the way. It’s about how many times you pick yourself up and keep going.

Also, realize that you can’t control everything. No matter how well you plan and how hard you try, there’s a pretty good chance that everything is not going to magically fall into place. Don’t be discouraged if certain efforts don’t pay off. Let go of ‘what-ifs’ and see each step along the way as an opportunity to educate you as you work to move closer to consistency.

What many people fail to realize is that the journey – both to consistency and through life – is about adapting and growing based on what we experience. There’s no such thing as laying out the perfect plan and having it execute with perfect precision. We are not computers, and it’s futile to hold ourselves to an unrealistic standard. Our true goal is to experience this life, and learn everything we can along the way. 

That leads us to the final key: 

FORGIVE YOURSELF.

You are not going to get it right every single time. In fact, you’re probably going to get it wrong more often than not, as you continue to learn and grow. Show yourself grace as you figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. Backsliding doesn’t make you a failure. It simply makes you human. So consider what happened to trigger the misstep, and learn from it… even if you have to physically make a note of it to keep it in perspective. Then get up, and try again.